"I Have to Kill You All Now" Chocolate Chip Cookies

If you are wondering about the title to this recipe, no need to worry.  I have not suddenly stopped taking meds or started listening to strange voices in my head.  This is my mother's super-secret world's-best cookie recipe and I am cringing a bit to be sharing it with the world.  I used to joke that I would share it with people, but I would have to kill them right after.  This is the recipe that won my husband's heart and that has the power to bring peace in the Middle East.  You can thank me later.

Ingredients:
1/2 cup shortening (consider buying Crisco sticks)
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 cup plus 2 tbsp sifted flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips (6 oz.)

To start, measure out your shortening.  As I was making this, I went to the pantry to reach for my handy Crisco sticks only to find that I was out.  The horror!  I did have a tub of Crisco, so I did this one old school.  Start by putting 1 cup of water into a 2-cup measuring cup.  Now add Crisco, pushing it down under the water, until you are at the 1 1/2 cup line (or the 2-cup line if you are making a double batch, as I did).  Crisco that is sticking above the water doesn't count towards the measurement, so cram it down in there.  See, now you can really appreciate the Crisco sticks.

Drain the water off and add the Crisco to your bowl.  Add both of the sugars and the vanilla and cream it together.  You can do this with a mixer, but I prefer to do it by hand because I think that the consistency is fluffier.  Just squash it with the back of a spoon until it is all smooth and the same color.

Add the egg to the creamed sugar mixture and mix well.  Now you do want to use your trusty hand mixer.  Add the flour, baking soda, and salt and mix again.  Now it's starting to look like cookie dough.

Stir in the chocolate chips by hand.  If you use the mixer at this stage, you can nick your chocolate chips.  While it is definitely not going to hurt the taste to have bits of chocolate chips in there, they will look prettier if they are whole.  Now taste it.  You know that you want to.  I have been tasting this for years and have never once been sick with Salmonella, but if you are antsy about that, you can always buy pasteurized eggs.

Drop your cookie dough by spoonfuls onto a greased cookie sheet.  Bake for 8-12 minutes at 375 degrees.  Knowing when to remove them from the oven takes practice and is basically what will make or break your cookies.  Keep in mind that these will continue to get darker as they cool, so pull them out when they are not quite as dark as you like.

Let them rest on the cookie sheet for 1 minute, then remove to wire racks to cool completely.  Here's what the bottom should look like after cooling:

Enjoy with a big glass of milk.  Figure out a spot to hide them or they will be gone quickly.  Prepare for the parade in honor of you and your magnificent cookies.

A single batch of this recipe yields roughly 18 cookies, using about 1 tbsp of dough for each cookie.  Your yield may be slightly higher, but I can't resist grazing on this delicious dough while the first batch is in the oven.  The only caveat with these is that they are only good for about 3 days after baking, after which they become hockey pucks.  See, a ready-made excuse to just go nuts as soon as they come out of the oven.

This may be the best recipe in my whole box.  I hope that you enjoy it as much as my family and I have.